-The Vault- Va Va Voom Burlesque Special!

Were you here last night? If you weren't, hoo-boy did you miss out! Last night -The Vault- had its monthly Va Va Voom Burlesque Special, and wooo-eeee! It was sizzling in here!

I was camera girl, taking souvenir snaps of you, our beloved patrons, with the Rat Pack boys.

Kadence looks like she's not too sure about the boys.

Liz looks happy though!


This is the sultry Veruca Monday in a gorgeous dress by Old Hollywood designer Donna Flora!

After a couple complaints of uninvited groping by Frank, I gave up and just enjoyed the show. And I'm so glad I did!

(Actually, Frank complained that Liza here groped him. I believe it!)

The evening started off with a BANG! -- literally! Miss Ouchie Dumpling burst through our front doors brandishing her pink Tommy gun of love, and tassles. All patrons were instructed to keep their yappers shut and their wallets open as she seduced one and all with her persuasive weapon and feminine wiles.


Before we had a chance to catch our breath, Miss Sigourney Farman made her burlesque debut on our stage, and oh-jeez-Louise, what a debut!!! If this is just the start of her burlesque career, I am onboard as a lifelong fan. With a wink and a jiggle, our lovely hostess was down to not much of anything, turning us all into blithering idiots stunned by her beauty and talent.


Well, I assume all were blithering as I was. PaulGoldStar looks fairly composed in spite of his "I just ate the canary" grin.


Ray and Jennifer Corbeau had great front row seats!


Slinky, make-you-feel-dirty tunes were supplied by the incomparable Bosco Rumsford, who also charmed us throughout the show with such bon mots as "Ouchie's got quite the pooper." When the show was over, he played wonderful music for all to enjoy and dance to, once we'd recovered our wits, that is.


And then waddaya know, Nurse Owl popped in for a home visit to innoculate one and all against a most vicious and repugnant disease: Hep Q! She gave us lollipops after poking each of us in the butt with her syringe.


If she was poking us all in the butt, I'm still not sure how Bosco ended up naked on top. Or why he looked so... vulnerable, and forlorn.


Just another night at -The Vault-!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Wanna be on our stage?...

-The Vault-'s Va Va Voom Burlesque Special is the second Wednesday of each month at 8:30 pm. Each month we'll feature two dancers. Are you interested in shaking what your mama gave you on our stage here in Old Hollywood? You could be a star! If so, contact Daisy Ogleby in world, and we'll get you directly to Q's casting cou-- I mean, we'll schedule a quick audition for you. No experience necessary!

Why should the ladies get all the dough?

Do you fancy yourself the flamboyant, swashbuckling Errol Flynn? Sophisticated cynic William Powell? Troubled, moody teen James Dean? Debonair, charming, and oh-so-handsome Cary Grant?

Then we are looking for you, MR. VAULT!

First Place 3000L
Second Place 1000L
Third Place 500L

On March 25th at 7pm slt, -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club will be holding the MR VAULT Contest. If you love vintage clothing and have a flare for style with a little imagination thrown in, or if you have a lady in your life who is a whiz at styling and is always helping you look terrific, then this competition is for you! You will strut your stuff on our stage in three different categories in front of our two judges (No, we won't tell you who they are, you greasy weasels! No bribing!):

1st Category: Formal vintage wear
2nd Category: A famous person 20s-60s (chosen by the contest coordinator)
3rd Category: Casual vintage

Remember that while this is all about vintage, you choose where you shop. No specific designers are mentioned. Your clothing may be from any time from 1920s through to the 1960s. You may choose a different era for each category or you may choose the same, it's completely up to you!

For the 2nd category, Sigourney Farnon will be sending a list of famous people and you'll choose from the list who you will be modeling. This will prevent more than one of the same.

There will be 10 contestants, maybe more but no more than 15 will be entering. Entry fee is 150L, paid to Sigourney Farnon. Send Sigourney Farnon a notecard with your full name stating you have sent the entry fee.

This is a fun night so invite your friends! There will be a DJ playing awesome tunes to suit the mood!

APPLICATIONS CLOSE FRIDAY FEBRUARY 25th so get your entry to Sigourney, and we'll whistle for and ogle you next month!

A HUGE THANK YOU to our contest sponsors:
Swank Brothers
Melu Deco
The Gatsby Girl
Breidaia Vlodovic (Chop Zuey)

The Vault Va-Va-Voom Burlesque Special!

Old Hollywood has kicked off 2011 with a wink and a tease! Last night, Miss Owl Sweetwater and I took the stage for some bumpin’, grindin’, and teasin’ to fantastic old-timey jazz DJ’d by our own Bosco Rumsford. You Jazz Cats and Dollfaces and Cupcakes were such a fun audience. Owl and I had a blast and I think you did too! We had a couple fainters in the crowd, but that’s to be expected with the kind of heat we were generating.

I was up first, and it had been a long while since I performed on stage. After a quick stumble and getting my hips warmed up (Dork Dance ftw!) I quickly shed my clothes and my inhibitions in classic cabaret style. Hey Gemson… I’ll be needing my hat back, fella!

Next up was the boobilicious bodacious body and sparkling sharp-like-the-edge-of-a-knife wit of the beautiful Owl Sweetwater, decked out in feathers AND lace AND satin AND silk. She made the crowd work for glimpses of her pretty flesh. For each time they made her laugh, another scrap of her coverings would come flying off. A special thank you to Jet and Ouchie for keeping the laughs coming. The rest of us were too busy drooling to try to be clever.

We’re hoping to make this a monthly event, with each show featuring different ladies… Employees and Vault patrons alike! Contact me if you’d like to be on our stage to shake your goodies and flutter your eyelashes and lose your lacy bits and have a really fun time!

Sunday Nights at -The Vault-

Have you folks dropped by -The Vault- on Sunday nights recently? If you haven't, you are really missing out. Seg and our newest DJ, YoYo Bur***C***khardt, play the most fabulous tunes. They'll play stuff you haven't heard in years, music that'll make you reminisce, make you daydream, make you tap your toes and dance. Come down and see what you've been missing!


**Editorial edit: I left out a C. Why?

AAA: Typo
BBB: The dog ate my spelling homework
CCC: I'm blonde
DDD: I'm blonde and I have big knockers

Here's a hint:

Looking Back & Looking Forward

Forgive me, Vault patrons, it's been two weeks since my last confessio-- I mean my last blog post. In that two weeks, we've had a visitor who left her convent to come here and try to save Q's immortal soul. She must *really* be on the outs with the Mother Superior to be assigned this kind of epic task. Talk about a lost cause! And case in point... just last night she announced to the crowd she is shunning the habit and forsaking her vows! See her conversion below. Note the poor fellow at the bar, looking away from the downfall of grace.

In the meantime, we've had lots of fun goings-on here in Old Hollywood. -The Vault- became the happiest place on earth (yeah, I know, I know... use your imaginations on this with me here, please!) when Liz, Moonbeam and I arranged two all-Disney sets on one day! All of you showed up in the best costumes, and it was amusing and somewhat disturbing to hear how we all think of The Little Mermaid (the princess you'd most like to "know") and the seven dwarves (specifically, how their height was perfect for keeping Snow White very, very happy).

Dame Edith as Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

Dame Edith came back for the second set as Tinkerbell! Check out her support hose!

Moonbeam as Millificent (Sleeping Beauty) with Diablo the crow... creepy and fabulous!

My fiance (don't ask, it's a long story) Finn as "Prince F'ing Charming"

This past Saturday Violet played "Flavors Of Oz," some lovely tribute songs to The Wizard of Oz. Again, you all showed up in some fantastic costumes, though no one dared to be The Cowardly Lion in this den of sin.

Chaos Priestman is a flying monkey with a backup singer!

One Dorothy (that's Seg!)

Two Dorothy (this is Veronika!)

And Glinda (Galinda? Glinda with a guh?) the Good Witch played by Violet!

~~Welcome Our New DJ: Drakaar Dover~~

Yeah, fuhgeddabowdit... This guy's from Brooklyn and you can hear it in every syllable he utters. Not for nuttin' but I had a half-hour crush on the dude... Black pants held up by suspenders (gasp!) over a strappy undershirt showing off his well-defined muss-kels (swoon!) and topped by an impossibly fly fedora... (sigh....) But you really just want to know about the music, not all that stuff! This guy plays the fastest, swingin'est swing around. You won't get a chance to catch your breath and you'll love every minute of it! Join us here Wednesdays 6-8 pm and Drakaar'll hook you up.

All that, plus nightly events full of wonderful old swing and big band played by Persephone, Annabel, Lou, and me, AND rockin' rock-a-billy by Nhaomi, Sunday night 50s doo-wop by Seg, and Monday night ska (so fun!) by Gwillym... AND live music by Bluemonk and Crooner! -The Vault- is THE place to be!!!

~~P.S.: Mr Finchley~~

You all know Mr Finchley, that naughty pick-pocketing monkey who collects Lindens and bananas for -The Vault-. Apparently he has some other skills of which we were unaware. Call Mr Finchley directly for your 10, 20, or 30 minutes of monkey paw stress relief. Just keep in mind, Mr Finchley is easily distracted. He forgets the happy ending.

That's YoYo there getting the knots worked out of his neck muss-kels.

Neko Night at -The Vault-!

Violet's picked out two hours of kitty cat songs... This should be a purr-fectly wonderful evening! Find those ears and tails we all seem to have in our over-stuffed inventories, wipe the kittylitter off your paws, and bring your catnip to share with all!

I will say... I'm not overly fond of the Neko look. It seems avatars sporting the talking tails and wiggly ears are always rocking an ARC (that's Avatar Render Cost) of 4000+. For a slow, sad computer like mine, that is framerate death. I have proof, though, that you can pull off a beautiful, sexy Neko look with an ARC of less than 1000!

Rawr!

With the talking, swishing tail you can't see in this picture, and my talking, wiggling ears, AND a gorgeous cat and pearl necklace from Alienbear (super high prim stuff, exquisite but lagtastic), my ARC is 768. No, that is not a typo.

ARC = 768

I also want to issue a warning: Do not fall asleep at the bar in -The Vault-. Bad things tend to happen, like Gee Vectroscope found out last Saturday night when he parked his butt on a barstool and promptly fell asleep.

Anyways... Calling all Jazz Cats tonight for our special Neko event! Mee-ow!

Swing IS King

Was king? WAS king??? Here at -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club, Swing is still King, every night of the week!

Friday nights at -The Vault- mean girls fall in love and throw their unmentionables at the stage for Mr Crooner Carlucci. His distinctive, smoky Dean Martin'ish voice makes the women swoon and makes the men reach for their fedoras and whiskey. And then he comes down into the audience for personal serenades! Fainting couches available, and as always a hit of Columbian flake on the bar for reviving!

Crooner performs tonight at 7 pm sl time, don't be late! At 8, I take the stream to play some raucous, fun, gorgeous tunes to prove that Swing is still King! Join us tonight, we'd love to see you!!!

EDIT:

We had such a fun Friday night here at -The Vault-! Crooner packed the house, and that was just the beginning! But hey... don't take my word for it. Join us tonight for another weekend night in sl, Vault-style!

Annabel and Bluemonk both TONIGHT at -The Vault-!

Bring your heart meds... all kinds of upbeat hippity-hoppity swing and boogie woogie happening TONIGHT at -The Vault-! First up, Miss Annabel Malibu brings her eclectic library of music for your listening pleasure. And then! Mr Bluemonk Rau unpacks his groovy organ on-stage for an hour of boogie woogie and blues, along with his own home-grown style of talkin' atch'ya! These are both always fun shows... Thursday nights, -The Vault- is THE place to be! The fun starts at 8 pm -- Don't be late!

It's Boogie Woogie, Baby! Let's Swing!

Torch Songs Tonight!; Annbel Swings Back Into Action

~~Torch Songs Tonight!~~

I played a lot of swing the last couple times I played music for all you Cupcakes and Jazz Cats and Dollfaces. Tonight, I'm gonna slow it down some, and let you get snuggly with that somebody special. Well... honest fact. I'm just tired, and I can't be dancing like a madwoman for 2 hours! Q would say I'm just lazy:

If being lazy looks this good, I'd say he's right! Be here at 7 tonight for lots of sultry-voiced ladies singing their tales of woe.

~~Annabel Swings Back Into Action!~~

Join us at 9 tonight when Annabel takes over the airwaves here at -The Vault-, playing all that fun swing I know you guys LOVE!

I am being really lazy... I'm not fussing with the slurl here. Scroll down a bit to get it!

*Lays back in the soft green grass and stares at the clouds* See you later!

Ska DJ Gwyllem Wycliffe tonight at 7!

Have you been to one of our ska parties? If not, it's time to check one out. Gwyllem plays the skankiest ska... It's nonstop mayhem!


http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

Calling All Jazz Cats!; SegmentationFault String Does The Twist!

~~Calling All Jazz Cats!~~

Last night here at -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club in uber-glam Old Hollywood, Miss Violet played some fantastic 1950s jazz standards for us. About midway through her set, I looked around, wondering where YOU might be... and saw this unbelievable phenomenon. Take a real close look at the picture below, and see if you can figure out what I mean.

A nice crowd, beautiful dresses, everyone's dancing and having a great time. But take a closer look... *crooks finger, beckoning* cloooooser... And see if you see what I saw.


-The Vault- attracts the smartest, wittiest, classiest (hey, I heard you laugh! sheddup!), most stylish women in the grid. So, fellas... All you uber-cool Jazz Cats... Would you like a date? A dance partner? Someone to sweet-talk, just for the small chore of donning your tux and adjusting your bowtie just right?... *nods* -The Vault- is THE place to be.


~~Mr. SegmentationFault String Does The Twist!~~

So yeah... A few weeks ago this character started hangin' around... A real wit, contributing lots of bon mots to local chat and a great new dance anim (hillybilly hoedown!)...

Then we noticed he never seemed to leave. When Q found Seg's (yeah, "Seg." SegmentationFault is kind of a mouthful, and not in a good way.) shoes under the couch upstairs, he said: "Earn your keep, or you're back in your box in the alley." And aren't we lucky! Seg has a super library of 1950s doo wop sh'bop and rock 'n roll, guaranteed to get you OFF your barstool!!! Be here at 8 tonight for Seg's -The Vault- debut and welcome him Jazz Cat/Cupcake/Dollface style!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

Boogie Woogie Re-Cap; Crooner's Back in Town

Hey, all you hep cats and cupcakes... Were you at -The Vault- last night for Bluemonk Rau's boogie woogie and blues organ show? If you were, can you be sure to NOT tell me what I did there? I have these vague, disconnected memories. Like, of trying to pickpocket this handsome fellow beside me, name of Rudi.

Ater he nearly broke my fingers (jeez, I was just gonna LOOK at his wallet!), I bought him a drink and we got to be friends. Well... holding-up-the-bar-drinking-whiskey-together friends. Which really are the best kind of friends, and I sincerely appreciate his forgiveness. Appreciation turned into adoration when he pushed Quentin around for trying to impugn my character.

Mr Bluemonk Rau, Boogie Woogie Meister

A second bottle of whiskey followed, and from there I'm really iffy on the details. But I *do* remember that Bluemonk rocked the joint, and if you weren't here you missed a fantastic show... Lucky for all of us, he'll be here next week!

But the fun doesn't end ...Tonight we have the smoke-and-velvet-voiced Crooner Carlucci here in Old Hollywood. Q suggests packing an extra pair of panties in your pocketbook when you attend this show. Come down around 7 pm, Crooner'll be here to serenade you!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

Thursday Nights Mean Boogie Woogie at -The Vault-!

Mr Bluemonk Rau, his Hammond organ, and his bootleg whiskey take the stage tonight at -The Vault- at 10 pm... Bring your dancin' shoes, this man will boogie away your blues!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

Be still my heart, it's Bluemonk, tonight at The Vault!

Oh my, it's Thursay night and you know what that means? You don't? Well, my dear, come on down to The Vault and be prepared to be swept away by the smokey voice of Mr. Bluemonk Rau.

Tonight at 10:00pm SL time! http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

The last time she saw....June?

Oh my, where 'did' June go? Well, I know how I am going to spend my last Tueday night of the month. Tonight at 7pm, SL time, I am going to be listening to the fabulous tunes one Miss Daisy Ogleby! Where will 'you' be?

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

I'm Playing My Old Victrola Tonight at 7

Come down and dance... Let's see if you can make the needle skip!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

*blinks blearily* Did Last Night Really Happen?

I woke this morning with a bowler under my pillow and sand in my eyes... Stumbled to the bathroom and saw I had red lipstick smeared across my face all the way to my ear! Yes, last night at -The Vault- was THAT fun!!! I hope you were here to see Violet dressed as Alex from Clockwork Orange, Dita as Marilyn Monroe, Q as Elvis in Blue Hawaii, Darwin as Yoda (with tuxedo!), and me as Sally Bowles (Liza Minelli) in Cabaret.



Violet played for two hours and that party was the standard mayhem you've come to expect at events here at -The Vault-, with the added bonus (burning sensation?) of Gee on the mic with Violet. Then Louise took over the stream and really... things went downhill. Isn't that slide fun!!?? Robert1971 passed out a naughty monkey and Q felt the need to stretch his groin... ew.

To all of you who joined us at -The Vault- last night... Thank you! YOU make the party FUN!!!

Songs from the Silver Screen Tonight 9 pm sl time

Join Violet and me tonight at -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club for tunes from your favorite movies. And, if you like, dress up as your favorite movie star or character. Or as a star or character you can pull off without buying a bunch of new stuff. If you want to create a Josephine Baker or Louise Brooks look, be sure to check out the shops around -The Vault- here in Old Hollywood. You're sure to find the perfect dress/shoes/accessories to perfect your vintage style.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

It's Dean Martin! No, wait--It's Crooner Carlucci!

Crooner Carlucci is here tonight, folks!

-The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club is THE place to be tonight at 7 pm sl time as Crooner takes the stage and steals your heart. Enjoy a martini or 3 as he sings our favorite pop standards Rat Pack style.

And just for fun, a Dean Martin quote:

"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."

Ooh... Crooner's left the stage and is singing right in front of me! Serenading me! *swoons*

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37

Calling all Jazz Cats, Cupcakes, and Dollfaces!

Who: DJ DavidJoshua Artful
What: Big Band & Swing Tunes
When: Tonight 10 pm sl time
Where: -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club http://slurl.com/secondlife/Old%Hollywood/54/55/37
Why: Well... Why not? David has the biggest, swinging-est library of music in SL, and knows how to keep the party hopping! Jump, Jive, and Wail to your favorite hits of the 30s, 40s, and 50s with us tonight... See old friends, make some new ones, have a drink or three, and have fun here at -The Vault- Vintage Jazz Club at the corner of Sunset & Vine in Old Hollywood.